In honor of National Nutrition Month in March, our t2Endurance Club Facebook group is raising awareness for National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. As someone who completed their Masters Thesis on Eating Disorders Among Triathletes, I wanted to share a personal story.

During my freshman year of college in 1992, my swim coach suggested that I lose 5 pounds over the summer, despite my 5’7 height and 135-pound weight. I had poor posture and carried my weight around my waist, which may have made me appear heavier in terms of body fat than I actually was. When I turned 25, I realized that I had some excess weight around my waist.

That summer, I had complications and had to have my left ovary removed. During my post-surgery recovery, I didn’t eat much and lost 5-10 pounds without exercising. When I returned to college that fall, I received many compliments on my weight loss, and it got to my head. I started restricting my food intake, believing that being thinner was “good.” I had a mental disorder and insecurities about fitting in, which were exacerbated by the belief that being thin meant I would perform better as an endurance triathlete/runner.

The lowest weight I reached was 105 pounds, and I was obsessed with food intake, suffering from a condition known as Orthorexia. By my junior year, my coach threatened to take away my scholarship because my performance had declined. That’s when I realized that performing was more important than weighing 105 pounds. I adopted the mentality of “eating to train” instead of “training to eat.”

By the end of my senior year, I weighed 120 pounds, but it was not a muscular 120 pounds, and I still had body image issues. Looking back, I regret that my relationship with food negatively impacted my swimming performance. If you struggle with food and weight issues, please seek help from a Registered Dietitian or Mental Health Expert to change your relationship with food and the scale.